Mr. SponsorPants

meets us where we are

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

it often comes disguised

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some of the toughest things have been the most helpful to me.

Eventually.

Not in a "you must suffer to improve" way (I reject that school of thought).

But more in a "letting go of things I was holding on to that I didn't know I was holding on to" way. Peeling away layers to get to Truths. 

Some of those experiences I would never have chosen for myself -- I still wouldn't, in fact -- but I cannot deny they set me free in some deep and powerful ways.

I keep my eye on these things so that if another tough patch comes along I'm not as overwhelmed by it. It helps to know -- not just hope, but know -- that from some of that "loss or failure or unwelcome change" can come ultimately good and helpful things.

 

 

 

Prayer of an Anonymous Abbess

 

 

 

 

 

“Prayer of an Anonymous Abbess:

Lord, thou knowest better than myself that I am growing older and will soon be old. Keep me from becoming too talkative, and especially from the unfortunate habit of thinking that I must say something on every subject and at every opportunity.

Release me from the idea that I must straighten out other peoples' affairs. With my immense treasure of experience and wisdom, it seems a pity not to let everybody partake of it. But thou knowest, Lord, that in the end I will need a few friends.

Keep me from the recital of endless details; give me wings to get to the point.

Grant me the patience to listen to the complaints of others; help me to endure them with charity. But seal my lips on my own aches and pains -- they increase with the increasing years and my inclination to recount them is also increasing.

I will not ask thee for improved memory, only for a little more humility and less self-assurance when my own memory doesn't agree with that of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be wrong.

Keep me reasonably gentle. I do not have the ambition to become a saint -- it is so hard to live with some of them -- but a harsh old person is one of the devil's masterpieces.

Make me sympathetic without being sentimental, helpful but not bossy. Let me discover merits where I had not expected them, and talents in people whom I had not thought to possess any. And, Lord, give me the grace to tell them so.

Amen"

 

-- Margot Benary-Isbert

 

 

 

 

not a tonic for wishful thinkers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kathleen clarifies

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Emmet clears it up

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

to be vital

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can lead the meeting blah blah blah.

I can share at meetings blah blah blah.

I can Speak at meetings blah blah blah.

(or blah blah Conferences blah blah blah.)

I can write and write and write blah blah blah.

And all that blah blah can certainly be good and worthwhile and helpful.

 

But if I want a powerful, vibrant connection with the spirituality I blah blah about then the recipe for that is clear: Self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive ACTION.

When I first showed up in AA they told me that I couldn't think myself into right action, I had to act myself into right thinking.

That principle applies to my faith as well. I can't talk myself into a conscious contact with a power greater than myself, I can only act myself into it. I must act like an unselfish person would act. I must act like a person who sacrifices their own convenience and time and energy to be helpful to others. And when I do, my faith comes alive. My faith becomes vital.

(Worth repeating: Willingness does not mean "want to.")

I'll be honest with you, kids, I was really hoping I could find a loophole around this one, since some days I would much prefer to talk about it than do it, but twenty-seven years in this is still the only equation that works.

Or, as it says elsewhere in the Big Book: "It works. It really does."

 

 

sometimes when I pray my mind wanders

 

 

Sometimes when I pray my mind

wanders,

and I think about all the reasons that prayer

doesn't really make sense.

Then I think about the people who claim

to be so devout but are

hypocrites.

Then I think

"wait, I'm supposed to be praying"

so I start over but then my mind

wanders

again. And I think about how I am probably a hypocrite about

something 

to somebody else.

Then I think that it's pretty sad I'm more upset about

looking like a hypocrite to somebody else

than I am about

possibly being an actual hypocrite.

And then I think

"wait, I'm supposed to be praying"

so I start over but my mind

wanders

again. And I think about all the things I want to ask God,

like "why do you allow such evil in the world"

or any of the thousand riffs on that basic question which has

plagued us all since we stood up and looked up.

(Or maybe we looked up before we stood up.

But either way we were all moving in the same general direction.)

Sometimes I can hear God's answer to that question.

I ask God "why do you allow such evil in the world?"

and God answers "Funny. I was just about to ask you all the same thing..."

And I get scared by that, since I generally prefer not to take responsibility for

very much, if I can avoid it.

So I go back to my regularly scheduled prayers and

try really hard not to let my mind

wander

again.

 

 

 

The sad punch line is not that

obviously this means I probably am a little bit of a hypocrite.

The sad punch line is that

on some days apparently I'm kind of

okay with it.

 

 

a good want for a Monday

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

even if we are bitter or insane or broken

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I know,

at various times in my journey,

I have been each -- or all -- of the three.

 

If today you feel you are any

(or all),

take heart;

 

you don't have to worry about

achieving any kind of union,

because it's not the union which will heal you.

It's the seeking.