I can choose which I want to focus on. Selecting the latter does not mean I am "hiding" from the former.
It just means I'm more interested in solutions than I am in wallowing in fear, self pity or deliberately manufactured misery -- most often used as a justification for selfish decisions I was just looking for a reason to make anyway.
Cuts a little too close to home, that one.
Personally, I must be extremely diligent that my walk matches all my talk talk talk talk talk.
('Cause some days I sure can talk, but my walk is decidedly lame.)
If you keep saying "I just can't sit still" and "I can't meditate"
then I guess you're probably right.
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Page 98 of "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions" states:
"There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation and prayer. Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and benefit. But when they are logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakable foundation for life."
This quote came back to me as I sat in my meeting this morning. Now, you don't have to sign on to AA's philosophies to find the truth in this concept. But once you do, either via AA or another path, then the truth of the matter is this:
If I choose not to work these practices, then I am literally choosing not to have a solid foundation to my life.
And then if that's the case, a good deal of whatever drama, instability, hysteria, self recrimination, doubt or bullshit I am subjecting myself to I am literally choosing for myself.
Ouch.
...the courage to change the things I can
(We have tools to help us do that.)
The greatest emotional pain of my life
has always resulted from
willfully ignoring a truth.