Dear Mr. SP,
I'm new. I hear all the time that it's a 3 part disease but I'm not sure I know what that means. Please don't tell me to look in the Big Book. Can you please just tell me?
Wondering
Dear Wondering,
You know, I sponsored someone once who just couldn't understand the Big Book. It's not that they weren't smart, nor did they lack for willingness. It's just that they weren't much of a reader, English was their least favorite subject in school (actually, I think school was their least favorite subject in school) and then to top it all off the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" (the aforementioned "Big Book") was written in 1938/9, so it's full of early 20th Century slang (like "... the goose hung high..." and "... lest I burst through my window, sash and all..." and "the remonstrances of my friends terminated in a row, and I became a lone wolf." That last one, by the way, is important if you're new and beginning to identify with some of what you hear in meetings...) They wanted to read the book, but they needed me to sort of translate it for them. As intelligent as the were -- and they were -- they couldn't take that writing in with any real comprehension themselves.
All of which is to say that, in my humble opinion there are two kinds of people who have a problem with the Big Book: The Wont's -- who have issues with sloth, willingness and rebellion (hello... er... almost everybody) and the Cant's (hello... er... almost everybody else).
So today I'll think of you in the Can't camp and I won't parse out a clever, snarky little anecdote which ultimately scolds you and then tells you to go to the Big Book...
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>>>Mr. SponsorPants makes Herculean effort to restrain himself<<<
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...(dear God, I think I just pulled something)...
since that's probably not very helpful to you (but damned fun to write, I must confess).
In an effort to not drown you in words and information I'll try to keep this bare bones. I'll just give you what I understand this 3 Part business to mean:
Alcoholism is a three-fold disease: Body, mind and spirit. Physical, mental and spiritual is how it is also often spoken about.
When an alcoholic ingests alcohol, there is a physically rooted craving for more which is triggered. That's the "body" part of the disease. Today's medical technology can map brain activity and give a diagnosis around addiction which talks about "serotonin production" and "serotonin uptake" and some other cool stuff, but for you and me, the word "craving" can serve as a perfectly accurate label for the hard science. And just to be clear, a "craving" is not just a fancy way of saying "I want" -- we're not talking about the desire to keep your buzz going once you start drinking. We're talking about a literally physically driven reaction to the alcohol separate from the high and different from just the generally lowered inhibitions alcohol engenders. The difference between a desire and a craving is like the difference between a wave and a tsunami. There are some similarities, but one of them is always going to be irresistible.
And no matter how horrible the consequences of their drinking becomes, an alcoholic is not able to use the idea, or the memory, or the thought of those consequences to influence our decision making enough to prevent us from eventually picking up a drink all over again -- and then triggering that physically rooted craving. On the most basic level that's the mental part of the disease.
The spiritual part of the disease refers to the staggering level of self-involvement (bordering on narcissism) that most alcoholics have. Life is not all about us; life is all about us. Every relationship and event is viewed through a backwards and distorted lens -- like how in ancient times people thought the Sun revolved around the Earth, alcoholics believe everything revolves in some way around us.
Thus it is the one-two punch from the self-centeredness of the spiritual aspect and the (sometimes-but-not-always-willful) blind spot of the mental element which keeps most alcoholics on a cycle of drinking which, in both my observation and personal experience, never seems to lead to a healthy, happy, fulfilling life.
That help?
Cheers!
Mr. SponsorPants