This morning I had statistics for breakfast.
This morning I woke up fifty five years old. (I get to turn fifty-five years old today.)
This morning I woke up 10,553 days sober.
I woke up with a healthy liver.
I woke up with a sense of well being.
I woke up in my own bed.
I woke up employed (and employable).
I woke with the thought of family, friends, co-workers... the people in my life whom I love and respect and who love and respect me.
This morning I woke up.
If you look at the statistics for a man like me
I should be ill or homeless.
I should be tortured by regret and dread.
I shouldn't even get to be 55.
I should be dead.
But instead
this morning I had statistics for breakfast.
I woke up, and from that simple act alone I broke a few.
I took stock; saw who and how I am, and it was like taking a bunch of statistics, breaking them into tiny pieces, placing them in a bowl, pouring almond milk all over them and eating them for breakfast.
Close to twenty-nine years ago, I was incapable of saying no to a drink - I was unable not to want a drink, even when I didn't want a drink (not that I ever wanted a drink). The part of me that wanted to live was helpless and overpowered by the part of me that wanted... well, that wanted what it wanted. All the time.
The part of me that wanted to live was tied up and gagged and stuffed into a trunk in the attic. Helpless.
Till I got help.
(I'm without power over my alcoholism. I'm not without help.)
And it's free help available to anyone who wants it. Anyone who is willing to have it.
We celebrate sober anniversaries in AA -- for good reason. But today I celebrate my natal birthday as not just the passing of another year on planet Earth, but as a testament to Alcoholics Anonymous as a road map for living sober.
As a road map for living.
I don't know if AA is for you, or for any person in particular, who is troubled by alcohol or drug abuse.
At the end of the day, that's really not my business.
What I know is that it's right for me.
That me + AA = a much better me.
This morning I woke up
and today I will celebrate with people I love the passing of another year on planet Earth.
Grateful to be here.
Grateful to be grateful.
Grateful to see you post again Mr. SP!! I was very worried, but your statistics show that you're still sober, and that's the most important thing. Welcome back and Happy Birthday!
Posted by: Alison C. | January 21, 2017 at 05:11 AM
Happy birthday and I'm so glad you're back! It's like we get a present for your birthday.
Posted by: Sam M. | January 21, 2017 at 05:38 AM
Happy Birthday! Just thought to check and see if you had posted and here you are!
Posted by: Carmel | January 21, 2017 at 10:39 AM
Happy birthday! Lovely to see a new post - and up to celebratory form. I'm enjoying the archives anyway, but it's good to know the blog is still live occasionally. I'm assuming your "other" writing career is taking up your energy - I hope it is going as well as you deserve.xx
Posted by: Kaz | January 21, 2017 at 06:20 PM
You were truly missed over these last few months. Your writings are such a great way to start the day whether current or past. So hope you had a joyous birthday and this year will be the best.
Posted by: Suzanne | January 21, 2017 at 09:48 PM
Happy birthday and welcome back. In whatever form your "back" means to you Mr. Sponsorpants.
I am filled with gratitude myself. On a daily basis.
Posted by: Cameron | January 22, 2017 at 08:24 AM
Welcome back and happy birthday! Funny, I just got back to my blog after a very long hiatus myself. The universe is shifting about - nice to see the birds returning to the nests.
Cheers!
Posted by: Paul S | January 22, 2017 at 02:18 PM
Yay! Welcome back. Keep coming back!
Posted by: Drew | January 22, 2017 at 11:35 PM
Happy Birthday, Mr.SP, and many more!
Posted by: Fred | January 23, 2017 at 07:31 AM
Congratulations and welcome back :)
Posted by: Susan | January 23, 2017 at 12:51 PM
Glad you are back, been checking for updates and happy to see these last few posts. I always enjoy your writing, on point.
Posted by: Keith R | January 24, 2017 at 12:04 PM
Happy birthday! My mom and I often laugh with the thought of referring to our adult age like we do toddlers. "How sweet little Mr Sponsorpants?" "He's great. He's 346 months today."
Posted by: Kelly | January 24, 2017 at 07:57 PM
Yup!
Missed yourself, we did.
Posted by: Ivan Toblog | January 25, 2017 at 01:09 PM
Welcome back, missed your witty and sage comments!
Posted by: Rob | January 26, 2017 at 03:26 PM
I'm so glad you're back. Happy belated birthday.
Posted by: Kelly | January 27, 2017 at 01:16 AM
woopWoop!
Posted by: Tami | January 29, 2017 at 03:30 PM
SO glad you're back, and congrats on 55 and 29!!
Karla K. from Coal City, IL
Posted by: Karla Kuriger | February 06, 2017 at 05:50 AM
I don't know about anyone else, but I worry when you disappear. Perhaps you could post a "Taking a break" message? As an act of service? Also, thanks for mentioning your age and Happy Birthday! It's younger than I thought and alleviates my worry that you've keeled over from old age and we would never know out here on the web.
I visit at least once a week for me and mine your archives when I need help with a sponsee. Your blog IS an act of service and for almost 7 years I've traveled with you, though you didn't know it. Thanks for all you've done.
Posted by: Amy | February 07, 2017 at 12:22 PM
Welcome back! Your sharing and writing is super helpful.... thank you.
Posted by: David N | February 10, 2017 at 05:51 PM
Happy birthday. Sorry I don't check this blog as often as I used to. But it was good to see two new posts. Again happy birthday and many more!
Posted by: Gay-in-AA | February 15, 2017 at 06:00 AM
To all the worriers, he said he was going to start posting less frequently because he's got other commitments. I'm grateful when I come here I get to see something. Ironically I was reading his book and decided to Check the blog.
I guess it's all in the expectations. Love you Mr. Sponsorpants. It's always good to hear from you.
Posted by: Gay-in-AA | February 15, 2017 at 06:03 AM