oh my god you guys he bugs me so much he is odd looking so am I but I'm busy taking someone's inventory here so let's not bring that up okay and when we go around the room and identify he always makes a little performance out of it always always and every time he shares he manages to work some pathetic passive aggressive martyr thing into it and I swear half the time he is looking at me when he shares like he is seeking some kind of permission or approval or something because I've been nice to him so now he's glommed onto me and ugh I don't want to be false but shunning is never the right thing to do so I try to find a good honest middle ground and focus on taking the higher road and all that crap but oh my god you guys he bugs me so much I've prayed for him and written about it and done some low grade minor character assassination with like minded fellows and each of those things in turn was helpful but oh my god you guys today was the living end every time we pray as a group he has to go faster or slower than everyone or add extra words or something and it just makes me absolutely freaking nuts
but
after the meeting I was walking a block over to wear my Lyft car was going to pick me up so I could go to work (it is one of my 7:30 am meetings and I can neatly fit it in before I have to be sitting at my desk like the grown ups do I keep my head down and they haven't figured out I'm not a grown up yet phew)
and he had walked out of the meeting a few feet in front of me
needless to say, I slowed my pace considerably to let the distance between us grow
(there's a lesson there you say? when I willfully slow my progress I increase the distance between myself and others? it is perhaps a metaphor you say? bite me I say I'm not ready to completely let go of my resentment especially since we're both going to be at this meeting at 7:30am three times a week)
and so he was quite a bit ahead of me
and he turned down a kind of alley
not like serious dark and dank urban alley
more like the not well paved narrow road that runs behind a bunch of shops where everyone has their dumpsters and stuff
and there he was rolling along
and some wretched I mean truly wretched homeless guy was limping along and pushing his cart towards the guy who drives me crazy and the homeless guy's cart got a wheel stuck in some little mini pot hole and
without missing a beat
the guy who is driving me crazy
went right over
didn't hesitate for even a split second
and helped this poor wretched fellow free his cart
and then he stood and talked with him for a bit
it wasn't even a drive by help thing it was an
"I see you" thing
and the really bitchy part of me
who let's face it is never really far off stage
wants to say that when the homeless guy got his cart going again and walked away he said to himself
"man that guy is really on some passive aggressive martyr trip"
but of course that is not anything close to what Mr. Bugs Me So Much said I am certain
he probably said something upbeat and kind and
tomorrow morning when I see him
I'm going to think about him helping that wretched homeless guy
without even a second's hesitation
instead of thinking about
how much he bugs me.
Alcoholic English! Ha! I've never seen it written out before. Fantastic.
I miss you Mr. SP! And I'm not the only one. Hope you're well.
Posted by: Cameron | September 01, 2016 at 02:17 AM
Great story that rings true for many I am sure. Thank you Mr SP!
Posted by: NewMadge | September 01, 2016 at 05:23 AM
Hah!
Been there, done that ...too often.
Posted by: Ivan Toblog | September 01, 2016 at 07:57 AM
Miss you dude. Work sucks and things are tough all over. I'm in a new gig and the hours are killing me. You would think a work from home jod would be easier. Wrong!
It's only been two weeks and I've only hit 2 meetings because of the hours. I know that's not gonna cut it so I'm happy you mentioned the. 7:30am meetings. That's probably what's in store for me. I used to go to a lunch neeting everyday at my old job and I miss that one terribly, but driving 40 minutes each way at 12:30 isn't conducive to productivity (but neither is being on a dry drunk).
So it's time to put away the excuses and get a new meeting routine into place. Thanks for sharing. It's good to hear from you old friend.
(((HUGS)))
Posted by: Gay-in-AA | September 03, 2016 at 08:36 AM
You have been a daily part of my recovery and I miss reading your postings! Hope all is well with you.
Posted by: Denise | September 04, 2016 at 10:44 AM