to be a for real thing (random but heartfelt)

 

 

 

Ultimately,

when I pray,

I am asking God to actually show up in my life - to be a for real thing;

a kind of tangible intangible.

I don't need God

to be a noun.

An idea. I need God 

to be a verb. A force.

Not in a supernatural way, like a burning bush or magic bees (but still, that would be so cool), but in the gritty, substantive way of getting into my bones.

 

God, I'm asking: Please take up space and make some noise.

I'm not even afraid of that request anymore

(well... hardly even).

That's an old idea, anyway, that God making some noise in my life would result in something to be afraid of. 

Result in hardship? Sometimes. Maybe. 

Change? Very probably.

But it's my resistance to those things (however human and natural that resistance might be) which creates the pain. I actively reject (I mean it!) the idea of some harsh task master of a God who gives hard lessons to punish me for falling short or beats me into improving.

 

We are surrounded by messages which exhort us to Go! Do! Achieve! Seize the day! 

I have come to believe that the day often has some sharp edges to it.

Seizing the day can get you cut up, sometimes.

What if being so busy doing (achieving! earning!) what I am told I deserve (I deserve it!) is like a 

narcotic?

What if the hypnosis of the hamster wheel keeps me too spun to accept Divine assistance with actual for real down-in-my-gut, change?

Rather than try to seize the day,

rather than be consumed with my petty successes and failures, measured on a yardstick which doesn't even actually exist,

it's better to reach for a God who is (for real) working from my inside

out.

That God is a real.

force

in me.

 

 

 

Comments

[Kevin Atchison]

Well put. For me, I now know that God is within me. He always has been and always will be. It just took the longest time for me to know that. I remember reading somewhere that God's grace is our birthright. As His child I don't need to suplicate and wait for it to appear. I only need take it, use it, eat that pear that is readily available in the basket on the kitchen counter, just as I did in my earthly father's home.
Reminders that He is both in me and everywhere else always are there for me to see if I just open my eyes.

[Kaia T]

This could not have come at a better time. Today was definitely a hamster wheel moment, where my boss was reviewing all we need to accomplish by end of year and I was freaking out about getting it all done.

It's a good reminder that having a Higher Power at work in my life is helping me achieve things that are so much more important. Like the ability to reach for acceptance and serenity in the middle of the frenzy.