drop the rock

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I remember I heard this in my very first year of coming to Alcoholics Anonymous, and a surprised laugh burst out of me when I did.

I felt that giddy combination of unexpected enlightenment and embarrassing identification so common in the beginning of my AA journey. (And in the middle of my journey. And recently, too. I guess it's kind of bullshit to position that experience as something which happens to "new" people and that I've somehow outgrown it. It might not happen a half dozen times a meeting any more, but a half dozen times a month? Absolutely.)

So I identified, and realized that my attitude of entitlement and performance-art-level, self-created drama was at work, and that I did indeed need to "drop the rock."

How?

By realizing that pretty much everything I thought was a burden was actually a blessing.

By substituting the words "get to" for the words "have to" whenever I start dressing up whatever I have to be grateful for in the false widow's weeds of obligation or affliction.

It goes like this:

I have to go to 90 meetings in 90 days.

No, Mr. SponsorPants, you get to go to 90 meetings in 90 days.

I have to go to work today.

No, Mr. SponsorPants, you get to go to work today.

I have to go to the dentist.

No, Mr. SponsorPants, you get to go to the dentist.

 

It's astonishing and a little disgusting how easily -- even today -- I can complain about my privileges.

 

Comments

[Mrs D]

I love this! Am going to use it as inspiration for a post at Living Sober .. will credit & link back to you of course my friend xxx