Mr. SponsorPants: The Book

I guess I was in 4th or 5th Grade.  We were having some kind of class election, and it was myself and another boy running for... whatever it was.  Class President or Ambassador to the Lunch Ladies or Deputy Chief Adjunct to the Relief Librarian.  Whatever "offices" a small elementary school class might have.

I was popular in grade school.  (It all went south in Junior High, but grade school worked for me.  Man, talk about peaking early.)  But the other boy was popular too, and it was a tight race.  So tight, I lost by one vote.

Mine.

I remember the teacher, I think her name was Miss Murphy (this was back before you had a Ms. option) doing the math and looking at me puzzled for a moment.  Since it was an even number of students in the class how come it was not a completely split decision?  (Something like that.)

I didn't vote for myself.  I genuinely didn't know you could.  Somehow, from life and the world around me, I thought you weren't "allowed" to vote for yourself.  That it was somehow wrong to do so.  I believe she kind of shook her head, and maybe even had a little look of disgust on her face when I explained this, although that last is probably the memory of my embarrassment coloring my interpretation.  When I got home and told my mother what happened, she was less than sympathetic.  She was a great mom, but she had her stuff.  "What are you, a gonif?" she asked.  (Somewhere along the way my irish catholic mother had picked up some stray yiddish terms.  "Don't be a gonif" peppered her scoldings on occasion.  She was not entirely accurate in how she applied it -- online dictionaries define it as "a thief or a rascal."  For her it was more an all purpose synonym for "idiot.")

Somewhere, very early on, I internalized the idea that it was not okay to vote for me.  It was wrong to "put myself forward."  Now, against the backdrop of an alcoholic ego this can make for some interesting crossed impulses, but the idea is -- or was, let's say -- clearly there, planted early and living deep inside my consciousness.

Through AA I have developed some pretty remarkable self esteem.  The trick to that of course is what I heard very early in meetings: "If you do estimable acts you develop self esteem."   There are variations on that truism but that's the wording I recall from my early meetings.

So it is an exercise in self esteem, and not entirely a natural impulse based on some old mental wiring, to "put myself forward" in this way:

I wrote a book.

Actually, I've been writing it for the past five years.

"Mr. SponsorPants: Adventures in Sobriety and the Twelve Steps for AA's and Others."

It is available as an e-Book for Kindle through Amazon for $6.99.

It's 150 (or so) essays, culled from the blog, re-written, re-edited, and pieced together in such a way as to be part memoir and part sober narrative.  Sort of a "best of" collection with a high degree of polish.

All the same care and disclaimers from my blog writing are in full force.  I make it clear in several places in the book that I am not, in any way, a spokesman for AA.  (And that in fact, no one is.)

All the "characters" in my stories are based on real people but are far from representations of the people themselves.  I've had people in the stories read the stories and they very comfortably do not see themselves in them at all.  As I've said here and as I say there, my stories are 100% true, but NOT 100% factual.  Much dramatic license has been taken; but they are the true stories of my sober experience.

I've talked with a lot of my sober posse about moving from blog to book, and my concerns about Traditions and ethics, and to a man (and woman) they detailed that I'm a little over the top in some of my concerns that way, that I've built the anonymity into it all from the beginning, and that there is nothing wrong with me selling my writing in a book form.

And on that point I want to be clear on something.  Some of the essays on Mr. SponsorPants, the blog, are about how to work the Steps.  That information is free, and always will be.  I will always pass that along for free to anyone who asks for it, just as it was so freely given to me.  But a lot of my writing here became storytelling, and although yes, they are stories about AA, they are my stories.  So I think it's okay for me to sell them.

(Can you hear me starting to twist myself around and work up an apology somehow for "putting myself forward?"  Yeah.  Me too.)

At the same time, I'm proud of some of what is here, and I am proud to offer it, polished to as high a shine as I can make it, in a book, albeit an eBook offered for Kindle via Amazon.  (Apparently the Kindle App is available for free across all devices and platforms, so you don't need to buy a Kindle to download and enjoy eBooks, and yes, I guess that is a plug.)

I'm going to keep writing the blog.  Five days a week, barring road trips or technical difficulties, there will be something new here.  (I promise if I take some time off I'll let you all know. But I have no immediate plans to do that, other than a quick AA trip in late September.)

 

There are several things I hope for from this next step in my writing career:

1. It would be nice to have some sales.  I think that's fair to put up front.  One of the few bible quotes I know is "the laborer is worthy of their hire" and I suppose that applies.  Sales means more writing opportunities and that's my dream.

2. Back in the day, when I first got sober, before the insurance companies closed the loop on it, a lot of people from corporate America went to expensive rehabs where they were exposed to AA's 12 Steps.  I was laughing this morning with Old Irish on the phone (a key member of the sober posse) about how some of those folks would get up at the meeting, hold up their Big Book and share "This is my $28,000 Big Book."  Meaning they (or their insurance company) paid a lot of money for them to find the 12 Steps -- but that if they hadn't paid for it maybe they wouldn't have taken the information seriously.  Some people who might benefit from what is discussed in Mr. SponsorPants aren't out there searching for blogs.  So maybe a book they buy might reach them where a blog would never pop up on their radar.  Mr. SponsorPants has always been, at heart, about getting helpful information to those who may need it.  As I have been assured by the posse, #1 listed above does not contradict that wish.

3.  Now that I am a published author (ahem!) and the book is out there (e-form not withstanding) I can take the work and make an audio book out of it.  Literally me reading the essays I've written and recording them and making that available too.  For the car driver and bus rider and whomever to listen to.  I'm no "Joe and Charlie" (well, I suppose that would be Joe OR Charlie) and their famous series of tapes which take people through the Big Book, but I think it would be a fun and helpful thing to listen to.

And finally, this is what I feel called to do right now.  If it is a somewhat Higher Power inspired calling, well, that will reveal itself as it will.  If it's really only my ego working a fantastic new con on me... well then, that will certainly be made clear too, and I think I can attribute my excellent complexion at over fifty years old to all the egg I've had on my face over the years.  If this is one more case of "egg facial in the making" so be it.  (I sure hope not, though.)

 

So... "Mr. SponsorPants:  Adventures in Sobriety and the 12 Steps for AA's and Others."

I've got a book now.  I wrote a book.

I hope it helps people because, even though it's uncomfortable for me to say, I'm really proud to have done it.

Cheers!

Mr. SponsorPants

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Comments

[Peggy]

AWESOME! I didn't know I could get the Kindle app free on my iPad! Learn something new... Anyway, VERY excited about your book and VERY interested in an audio version. I get so much from your sharing and unlike a meeting, I can go back "listen" to you share again! I have been listening 4 years in October. When I found your blog and wrote you about going to Al-Anon because of my son's addiction and how much of what you say rings true for me....you wrote me back! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I can feel your writing is from the heart and is authentic and true AND funny or I would not still be reading the blog. Glad you are out there.

[Cameron]

Well its about time! Congratulations Mr.Sponsorpants. I've been waiting for you to write a book and was excited when you first alluded it. So it's purchased, now to download it! And when I figure out how to give a book on Kindle as a gift, I'll purchase several more. I will recommend you, your blog and your book, and your sobriety to many. I have read your blog soon after it began years ago and you are an important part of my sobriety. Thank you Mr.Sponsorpants. If Mr.Sponsorpants is going to throw a party, I'm definitely coming!

[daisyanon]

I'm buying it as soon as I have typed this!

Looking forward to the audio version which I will also buy. Have often wished I could hear you share.

[daisyanon]

Hey Mr SP - did you forget to put a link to the Amazon page?

[Debbie]

I give praise and thanks to your Higher Power for all that is accomplished through YOU... CONGRATULATIONS, this is beautiful!

[Virginia]

It is already a learning experience as Peggy said. I had no clue I could get the Kindle App on my phone. So excited to be getting so hip. I can only voice what the others have said. Congrats, thanks for publishing and looking forward to audio version.

[Serenity]

Awesome! Going to go buy it now.

p.s. Stop apologizing for publishing as an ebook. All the best writers are doing it these days. :)

[Tricia C.]

Congratulations. I just purchased and will spread the word.

[Syd]

Good for you. Glad that you are moving forward with writing.

[Valerie]

So wonderful! Today i was talking with my best friend about your blog and recommending that he check you out. I just bought the book to share with him. thanks for being out there for me to find.

[IvanToblog]

Okay... cool!
I couldn't even wait to finish reading this post
I had to grab my Kindle and get your book
Thank you

I started blogging sometime around the same time you did ...kinda for similar reasons
The main difference is my blog isn't nearly as useful as yours

[Sister Mary Bonster]

I KNEW that's what you were up to!!
My favorite character is Skatepup. I am he in female version,..um...somewhat :) if you saw my piercings and tattoos you'd understand. As soon as we download the Kindle App....we'll buy it! How cool to have been a reader of your blog and now you're going to be FAMOUS!!! Are you still gonna be cool like that? J/K... Congratulations!!

[Debprimm1214]

Yayyyy!!! I just downloaded it and can NOT wait to dive in. Thank you!!!

[FloridaLizzie]

Congratulations! I'm so happy for you! This is awesome! Frankly, I would love the audiobook.

And as for all the anonymity stuff, your logic is right on. Hey, Al-Anon changed my life, and I wish everybody knew how much help there is in AA and Al-Anon. Your story is your story, and I'm glad you are sharing it. Bravo!

[Elizabeth C]

so happy for you and so glad to support you! Now I have you on my phone and kindle so I can take you wherever!

will be sure to let all my friends at intherooms.com :)

[Kim]

Wonderful news!! Will definitely purchase. PLEASE do the audio, this is the time we (I) need you most. Driving is too much time alone with my head... I need another voice, the one in my head can't always be trusted. Thanks for sharing

[Luna]

Read your post yesterday and bought it immediately! Happiness abounds! I love this blog, it has been a big help for the last 4 years. Congratulations and love ya!

[Ms. Sponsorpanties]

Yeah!! Sitting vigil in the ICU with my sister. Checked out the blog and downloaded the book. I'm looking forward to it and the audio when it comes out. Thank you for sharing your experience strength and hope in such a tangible way. Hope it sells a gazillion copies so we can look for the sequel. Or screenplay!

[Gay-in-AA]

Glad to see you published the book. I downloaded it and have enjoyed it so far. Cheers

[FloridaLizzie]

Mr. SP, I had never bought an e-book or put a Kindle app on my phone, but I did it and bought your book 3 nights ago. It was easy! I keep reading it when I should be doing other things. Your book is funny, enlightening, wonderful; and you are such a enjoyable writer. You are a beautiful soul, and I wish I could meet you. Thanks for writing such a great blog and book.

[Tobie]

I just bought it! Can't wait to read it! Thank you!!

[Julie]

It's downloading as I type. I can't wait to read it. Congrats my friend!

[Riversurfer]

I admire you for living your dream, you will do so well and I hope to see you composing more books in the future!

[Lisa]

The first e-book I ever bought (I think :-P ). Anyway, the most meaningful, considering your service in writing has been helping to save my life these days. You. rock.

[Eliza]

Yaaaaaay, I'm so glad you did it!

[Moi]

OMG, you wrote a book! I am going to buy it right now!

[Michele]

This is great! A Mr. Sponsorpants book! Mr. Sponsorpants is published! Yippee! Although I will be buying the book today, I would really love love love the audio book. I have a long commute and listen to a speaker or audio book almost everyday. To hear a Mr. Sponsorpants book would be close to nirvana for me. Thanks, Mr.SP!

[Guinevere]

Sir, looking forward to reading this and putting it up on my blog for others to find. And when I do, I'm going to include a link on the book cover so people can click through. much appreciation and respect, /G

[Jaxx]

Got it! Actually, the book popped up on kindle and that's how I found your blog! So happy to have found both! Although I do a lot of internet, for some reason I never looked for sobriety blogs, and I'm glad to have found you. happy sobriety!

[Joon]

Congratulations! You've worked so hard! I'm so proud! I knew you when! When you were still fabulous, actually. That hasn't changed.

[katherine]

congratulations. I have followed you for years and got a lot from your blog. How soon can you get the audiobook up and available please??
Demanding, UK