It can be a provocative question when you really consider it -- but ultimately, the answer for me is simple, because there are really only three versions of me that I could ever possibly be: Sober, Dry or Drinking.
If I'm sober, working a program and living with AA's principles woven into the fabric of my life, then... yes. Yes I think I would. One of the great gifts of the 12 Steps for me today is that I can see myself fairly clearly when I work at it: Messy, silly, sentimental and sometimes more selfish and self involved than I like but still and all, at the end of the day, a good guy. Good enough, anyway. (And anyone walking any of the 12 Step paths for a while knows the astounding, enormous miracle of recovery embodied in those last three words.)
If I'm dry, not drinking but still tortured by the ism in its various monstrous incarnations, walking around feeling like I have spiritual termites boring into my soul then... no. Definitely no. In my experience people who are in that kind of fear and pain are prone to mental and emotional violence (against themselves as well as others) -- I might be moved to compassion for that man but I would not "like" him.
And if I met me when I was actively drinking... like me? I was a fairly happy drunk, but... I don't know. Because I hope I wouldn't get close enough to really find out. I have nothing against drinking, or drunks... but I know this for sure: Me + Alcohol = Hollow Man.
That question really struck home. It's simply stated but extremely profound. It asks me to examine the "real me". Will need to spend some time letting that thought roll around in my head today. Thanks for the push.
Posted by: Orbus | January 09, 2013 at 09:00 AM