Questions via Email: Part 2 - The Steps seem strange to a logical thinker

 

From J's question yesterday:

"These Steps seem so strange to a logical thinker like myself.  Can you share anything that might help me?"

 

Well J, there's much discussion in Chapter 4 of the Big Book titled "We Agnostics" about logic and faith, but let's address instead the very specific problem you describe:  A rational reluctance to the 12 Steps.

Frankly my friend I suspect, for whatever reason, you're probably over thinking it.

I have found that considering the first 3 Steps with slightly different wording can help people experience them with fewer filters.  I am NOT trying to reinvent the 12 Steps (for me they are perfect as is).  This is simply how I first found a way to embrace Steps 1, 2 and 3:

 There's something wrong with my drinking and it's fucking up my life, and although I keep telling myself I'm going to get it together I just keep... not getting it together. 

And things keep getting worse.

It's actually crazy that on the one hand I want so very badly to get it together and then on the other hand I just... don't care.  Or I just change my mind.  Or I forget. 

But I believe there's something in AA that can help me.

So I'm going to do what AA suggests -- all of it.

 

That's it, basically.  I admit I have a problem I can't solve on my own. It's getting worse.  I think AA can help, so I'll do the AA deal.  Steps 1, 2 and 3.

Actually, if you want to deconstruct the Steps from a logic standpoint -- and the Big Book too, for that matter -- that's pretty much the rhythm of the whole thing:  Problem.  Solution.  Plan of Action.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

(And as far as the above is concerned, I could define "wrong" pretty clinically, but I think if you're really a problem drinker you get how right the word "wrong" is. )

As for the rest of the 12 Steps, I'm going to suggest to you, J, something that I heard in maybe my first week of sobriety, and it served me well:

Balk at the Step you're on.

Don't get your kippers in a clip about all the rest.  If you have had a problem getting and staying sober, then in my humble opinion you are best served by focusing on the first three steps, and the timing for the others will fall into place pretty gracefully after that.

As I said before, I can tell from your email you have a great attitude and you're willing -- keep those fires stoked, keep an open mind, and keep coming back.

 

Mr. SponsorPants

Comments

[TAAAF]

"Balk at the Step you're on." I love that.