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April 27, 2011


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By the nature of beig human, we are all contradictions. It is the way we are. And it seems that you followed the advice of the BB, 9th step. To be completely honest, without hurting them or others. What would be gained by not offering an opportunity?

Great post today, thanks.


It's not always easy.


I think that it is the law now that when asking for a reference from a former employer...the future is only allowed to confirm the dates employed. Maybe not the issue here, tho. I think without lying you are giving them a wake up call and another chance. This was a great read with lots of "food" for thought.


I read compassion here. I find that being general in doing a reference and not singing praises gets the point across that this was not a sterling employee. I have been direct about graduate students who were looking for a job. Some simply didn't have the interest or passion for the work. I needed to be honest about that but also spoke of their good qualities. That way I was being truthful. I am sure that you practice the principles in all your life events.


Great post Mr SP, thank you for sharing and thanks for your honesty.


"Life is a delicate negotiation."...love this quote and it seems to fit nicely here.


"But let there be no gossip or criticism of one another" is a good way to live in the world, not just in the confines of a meeting.


I can relate.... I have had to fire people that were almost asking for it, and it is always hard. I have also allowed them to come in for their shift, with the full knowledge that I would be walking them directly out. And I, like you, have made offers to be a reference for future opportunities. Sometimes someone actually called asking for a reference for someone I had fired. I found that if I did not go into too much detail and focused on the positive (and there always is SOMETHING positive if you look hard emough) I did not feel like I had lied to the future employer. Good post....


It seems to me that you took the chickenshit way out by promising a reference neither of them deserved. Their new employers would have preferred your honesty to your desire to avoid looking mean.

I have been hiring and firing a long time, and I have both been fired and hired. I believe in telling people the truth.

It isn't about you.

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