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February 02, 2011


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mr sponsorpants, this was really, really helpful to me today. thank you.


My first thought was Al-Anon.

recovering jezebel

Yeah, I have to chime in that letter pretty much screams "I am in desperate need of Al-Anon." It's all very well to suggest that the writer should can it with the eyerolls, heavy signs, pauses freighted with meaning, etc.--but the only thing I ever found that would HELP me stop doing all that? I found in Al-Anon meetings. It took 90 meetings in 90 days before I could smile warmly at my domestic partner even as he acted out repeatedly with gambling and sexual behavior. And before I was calm enough to make healthy decisions for me.

So dear letter writer, please haste thee to an Al-Anon meeting. You probably don't want to go, but I promise you will feel better if you do, maybe right away, but definitely with time. Please. "Without such spiritual help, living with an alcoholic was too much for most of us," as the preamble says. And this is true when we have trouble with someone's drinking, whether that person is ready/able/willing to diagnose themselves as an alcoholic or not. Good luck to you—


Ditto on all the stuff about Al-Anon.

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