From the novel "Little Bee" by Chris Cleave:
"... I ask you right here to agree with me that a scar is never ugly. That is what the scar makers want us to think. But you and I, we must make an agreement to defy them. We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because, take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived."
If you survive alcoholism, you probably have some scars to show for it: Scarred spirits, scarred families, scarred minds... scarred brains and lives, livers and lovers.
And our scars are beautiful -- not just because they are a testament to our survival, but because they are a testament to our healing as well.
But they are not only beautiful -- they are powerful.
Powerful medicine.
We share those scars so that others can heal also. That is the distilled essence of the 12 Step experience: One helping another like them. That is the medicine which transforms shame into esteem and leads people from isolation to fellowship.
If you're not there yet, take heart. Keep coming back and you will be.
And if you are, then you know this truth, and have felt its power. Remember to let the help in as much as you offer it -- share your beautiful scars, and let others share theirs with you, too.
OK. So I read this and then tried to share a scar with my partner.
He told me (in no uncertain terms) to leave the damn room.
Posted by: Dave | February 23, 2010 at 03:13 AM
One of my favorite quotes came from an amazing guy I know who has spent a great deal of his adult life working as a missionary in Burundi, he said, "Christians have bumper stickers and slogans, believers have creeds and promises, disciples have scars and stories!"
It seems to me this fits in AA as well :) Since I came with scars, I know what I have to be in order to be of maximum service. I have to be one of the ones who isn't afraid of the scars anymore, in fact, they make me infinitely useful to God.
Posted by: Jessie R. | February 23, 2010 at 04:06 AM
I tell people that I don't wear makeup because I like what God gave me. I have earned my laugh lines, stretch marks, crows feet, and grey hair. I will add scars to that list now. Who needs plastic surgery when they have serenity, sobriety, strength and experience to share?
Namaste
Posted by: raemelyn | February 23, 2010 at 05:30 AM
I covered up those ugly scars for years. Now I think that there has been healing in so many ways.
Posted by: Syd | February 23, 2010 at 06:25 AM
MSP Where are you ?-are you ok? p-lar
Posted by: p-lar | February 24, 2010 at 09:50 AM
technical difficulties with the isp -- very on/off connection (lost one post I wrote already grrrr!)
should be sorted by tomorrow -- thanks for this note and all the kind emails!
Mr. SP
Posted by: Mr. SponsorPants | February 24, 2010 at 01:22 PM