The book "Alcoholics Anonymous" uses that phrase to describe the likely outcome for someone suffering from alcoholism who is unable to get sober.
Along the way to those ends, we usually create a lot of wreckage for ourselves and others.
I am deeply grateful that I got sober before the Internet came into existence. Or before they started making the TV Show "Cops." My memories (those that I retain) are painful enough without video reminder or extreme internet commentary.
This woman is not so lucky.
Her blood alcohol level when she was arrested was .708 -- and so it seems that her alcohol use has already led her to the first part of that sad pattern: Jails.
It is not my place to suggest that she is an alcoholic, and I say that with no sly wink intended. But this gal can drink -- I know from my own experience that you don't get there overnight. It takes dedication -- literally. I remember there were times before I got sober when I had the muddled thought that I was literally drinking with a vengeance -- that it felt like I could not drink fast enough and when I passed out I would start again the moment I awoke -- towards the end, anyway.
With all our sharing and reflection and self examination -- all useful, healthy and appropriate -- with all our writing of resentments and discussion of character defects, every so often I think it is important to be clear that the bottom line, the most important thing, the place it all stems from, is physical sobriety. We must explore those things but AA is not a metaphysical society. "Our primary purpose is to stay sober ... "
If, by the end of the day, I don't drink or use or kill myself then I win -- and the rest of the mess will either have to wait till the next day or sort its damn self out without me.
Sometime, it's easy to lose that message. I love first step meetings, especially when a first-timer is present.
Posted by: Dave | January 05, 2010 at 03:49 AM
That is a great reminder and it is often all we can do for today. I'm going to remember that the mess some days has to sort its own self without me. Thank you!
Posted by: Virginia | January 05, 2010 at 06:41 AM
I am powerless over alcohol. My life has a new manager.
Posted by: Skip O | January 05, 2010 at 10:19 AM
Where in the book is the part about "jails, institutions and death?"
I can't find it, though I hear it repeated in meetings all of the time.
By the way, we have a link to your blog from our blog!
Posted by: Marguerite | January 05, 2010 at 12:51 PM
By the way, I read about this woman a few days ago and was shaken by the fact that we have the same (first) name.
I used to take enormous pride in being able to drink the men under the table (Scots ancestory probably), and now that I am sober I see what a deadly trap that thinking was.
I see this other Marguerite, and instead of thinking "I'm not like her," I think "There but for the grace of God, go I."
Posted by: Marguerite | January 05, 2010 at 12:56 PM
Thanks for the post.
I knew at a younger age I wasn't able to drink a lot and would pretend...be fake. Later I learned I could drink a lot more than I ever imagined. What a man...vomiting, jail, near death.
Sobriety...my life...is much better now!
Posted by: Mike | January 05, 2010 at 02:47 PM
Very well written and explained. I like the way you write the blog. Thanks for sharing and keep posting more like this.
Posted by: Susan | February 18, 2010 at 04:45 AM
You are wrong Mr. Sponsorpants! The phrase, "jails, institutions, or death" is used nowhere in AA literature... It comes from NA's basic text.
"Most of us do not have to think twice about this question.
we know! Our whole life and thinking was centered in drugs
in one form or another—the getting and using and finding
ways and means to get more. We lived to use and used to
live. Very simply, an addict is a man or woman whose life is
controlled by drugs. We are people in the grip of a continuing
and progressive illness whose ends are always the same: jails,
institutions and death." ~NA Basic Text, Who is an Addict?, Page 3
Posted by: Gunthar2000 | March 06, 2013 at 01:47 PM
no kidding! Mr. Sponsorpants needs to get a better sponsor, or at least read the literature he's supposedly quoting.
Posted by: Karen | April 12, 2013 at 11:56 PM