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November 02, 2009


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Since becoming sober and continuing in recoery, I have wondered aloud about the difference between being judgemental and having an opinion.

Irish Friend of Bill

it is only when the identity of the person iis revealed that anonymity is 'broken'
if people cannot be sure who you are referring to, or are simply guessing that the person is them because the person you describe has the same feelings, then thats not breaking anonymity.

the question to ask oneself is 'are they identifiable' if the answer is no. you have protected their ID and not broken their anonymity

David S

Having spent a good bit of time on this site over the last two weeks, I found myself playing a little game of detective. Not one to shy away from a challenge that might morph into an obsession; I took it upon myself to try to decipher who Mr. SP was, or at a minimum, what country he was in.
Being a clever alcoholic, I even signed one note to him, "cheers" thinking this would cement my brotherhood as a fellow Brit, never mind that I am from California.
Aside from having too much time on my hands, my point is, as Clancy puts it, "perception."
My perception has been and remains Mr. SP goes out of he way to cleverly disguise whom he is writing about, and "K" thinks different.
Like Bill W. used to say, "That's your opinion and your entitled to it."
As to the judgmental side of Mr. SP.
In Bellflower Ca., there is a fellow who is a well known circuit speaker. He says, "I'm not being judgmental, I am just observing and reporting."


In my humble (I hope) opinion, there is a difference between judging behavior and judging the person. Like in, "Love the person, hate the sin."
As you describe behaviors, Mr. SP, I do not hear you condemning the person at all. I just recently found your blog and like it very much. Thank you!

Ed G.

Nicely said. I hope I can learn to walk that line of "not fighting" as well as you some day.

Blessings and aloha...


I am surprised at the remarks because I haven't found the posts judgmental. I've read all the posts as well, since nearly the beginning (and I went back to read the ones I'd missed). This blog has more followers than the comments indicate, Mr. SponsorPants. Thanks for the help you give.


I too struggle with talking about sponsees and their issues in the context of my E, S, and H. I don't write about other program people that often because I too worry about anonymity and whether I am moving from experience to lecturing. I've been told to keep the focus on myself. I do that as much as possible.

unreliable narrator

This is an unpleasant conundrum I wrestled with for the better part of five-six years over at http://theunreliablenarrator.net and eventually, painfully, I developed a single heuristic which helped. Which it sounds like you already have on board. And it is this:

Someone will find my blog eventually, through the powers of teh Interwebbernets; and they will immediately know who I am and who they are; so I'd better prepare for that eventuality by being scrupulously honest; which means owning my part in it completely, which means acknowledging IN THE WRITING ITSELF my messy fucked-up attempts to control the situation EVEN IN THE WRITING ITSELF, which attempts are imbedded in my careful yet inevitably biased narrating and describing; and thus I must foregrounde my profound unreliability by reminding myself and my readers with every single entry: This person cannot be trusted.

As a wise teacher said to me once: If there's any other recipe for poetic success, I don't know what it is. Turns out to be a good recipe for a sober blog too. In other words, with every entry I was informing myself: You might want to look at that. And I tried to. Especially when it wasn't pretty.

So thank you for looking at that, and asking us to look at that; and please, please keep writing for now.


I've followed your blog for ages Mr SP-it helps me, i 'use' it alot - i can't see any justification for the accusation about anonymity-i always get the sense you ask yourself first if what you want to write about would help others before you write it..i see egolessness in your blog mostly, it amazes me - is my biggest stumbing block in my (early) recovery and in my life. am really grateful you're there in cyberspace and i assume theres many others like me that read but have never written to you. thanks, and love to you. km

Kieran S.

I have gone back to the beginning to read them all, and I have found this blog to be informative and inspiring. Please don't stop!

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