"When in doubt ..."

"When in doubt, do nothing."

A lesser known AA Slogan, which of course may have its origins elsewhere, but I've heard it often enough over the years to think of it as one of "our" sayings.  A friend of mine with many decades sober is quite fond of this expression, and whenever I have the least turmoil she is quick to say it to me (she's also quick to rely on her time sober as reason I should always listen to her, but that, I think, is a discussion for another time.)

When I first heard this I always used to focus on the "do nothing" part -- it got me off the hook (which I liked -- I am an excellent "do nothing-er") but it also troubled me:  "Do nothing?!?  But ... what about the situation I'm worried about -- the thing I have doubt over?  I've got to do something!  You're telling me not to do anything!  That's a recipe for disaster!" 

No.  No, that's not what the suggestion is at all.

The idea here (and it took me far too long to grasp it) is to address the doubting, not the doing.

Comments

[Dave]

I just finished my morning prayer and asked for that very thing. I need reminders.

[Always Carol]

That is advised a lot in Alanon because people tend to come in to program thinking that they need to make a decision, usually on the theme of should I stay or should I go (ba da da da da da bum-The Clash)

[openid.aol.com/bd92089]

I remember my sponsor's slight variation on this, "If you can't think of what to do, sit down and do nothing until your wits come back to you." Incredibly, when at 3 years sober, I moved to southern Illinois from Massachusetts where I'd gotten sober. I knew no one, and probably was feeling very lonely on a Friday afternoon. I grabbed some lunch, and found myself driving aimlessly when I suddenly realized that I had been staring at the bars along the road, and had an uncontrolable urge to drink! I couldn't think what to do, so I panicked! Pulling over at a truck stop, I sat down, ordered coffee, and started calling people in AA from memory (this was before the days of cell phones, so I used a calling card and the trucker phone at the booth I was sitting in). Of the dozen or so numbers of AA people I called back in Massachusetts, not one person answered! (I left a message on each answering machine, and they ALL called back a day or two later!) Then I asked the waitress for a piece of paper and started writing a gratitude list. I waited, thinking that if I had to I'd drink coffee for hours until the meeting that night. Looking up I saw someone with his back to me sitting at the counter. Finally, I walked past him to the bathroom (too much coffee!) and on the way back I saw his face. Way too weird! It was my brand new sponsor! I sat down next to him, much relieved, and told him what I was doing there. Then he said, "You won't believe this, but I've never taken a Friday afternoon off until today. Work was very slow, so my boss said I could go home. What's even stranger is that I've never stopped in here for a cup of coffee!"
Yeah. Sit down and do nothing until God shows me what to do next! Love your blog, my friend! Can't wait to read it all!