A mild stormfront on Planet SponsorPants

Walking down the street today, muttering and planning, muttering and planning ...

"... if they ask me to check my bag at the front counter when I go in I am going to say "No."  In fact, I'm going to say, 'Hey! Do you know how much money I've spent in this store in the last ten years?  I'm not some kid with sticky fingers -- I've seen other people with their bags here, why should I leave my bag with you?  It's like when the owner's wife asked me to leave my smoothie at the front of the store when I came in that time ... ridiculous!  I'm not some child, who's going to get his smoothie all over everything ... and the smoothie had a cover on it, for God's sake!  You know, the last time you asked me to leave my smoothie up front when I came in on a hot day, I pretty much just turned and walked out! So, now you're really asking me to leave my bag at the front counter?  How about you guarantee that you'll watch it so that no one else grabs it and walks out ... what's that?  You can't guaranteed to watch it?  Fine! Fine!  Then I won't leave my bag, I won't stay and shop ... and you know what?  I won't come back!"

Here's the thing:

A)  I am nowhere near the store I'm thinking about, nor am I even on my way to it.

B)  I don't have a bag with me -- nor am I carrying a smoothie.  Nor am I even on my way to get one.

and finally,

C)  That time the owner's wife asked me to leave my smoothie at the front of the store was ten years ago.  And although they have a sign about bags posted, they've never asked me to leave my bag at the front counter.  I just keep seeing the sign and waiting for them to.

 

Alcoholism is relentless.

Relentless.

  

Comments

[Dave]

I love smoothies. What flavor would you have had?

[legallybarb]

hilarious! and yet oh-so-true. sometimes I think how scary it would be to have to reside in my mind all the time. and then I realize that I do. :)