Dear God,
I feel like my body is gross. Disgusting.
I feel like all those people who say "every body is beautiful in its own way" are either pathetic, deluded, ugly people trying to feel better about themselves, or people that are already beautiful, so of course they say that.
But I know that self-loathing is a kind of sickness, God. I know that there are people with far worse physical challenges and health issues than I have.
(And, God, I know, I know, the world's troubles are so much bigger than one privileged soul's luxury problems -- but I bring this to You because sometimes it blinds me to things outside myself, and it feeds my self-obsession. I bring this to You because I am ashamed of feeling this way, and the shame feeds the self-obsession, and the self-obsession feeds the shame.)
God, please, help me find perspective. God, please, help me see with new eyes. God, help me see myself honestly, but without the warped perception of self-loathing or disgust. God, help me see that I'm not lazy, I'm afraid -- and help me remember that You are bigger than every fear.
God, help me do what I can -- and what I must -- to change. God, help me be motivated but not driven, and please help me to accept hard truths without being overwhelmed and giving up.
God, please lead me to peace with myself, with getting older, with the reality of aging and mortality. Help me forgive myself for my shallow moments, for my jealousy of some and my judgment of others.
God, please help me remember every day what is truly important in life.
And please, God, help me be, in my ego, my thinking -- and yes, my body -- right sized.
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