If you keep saying "I just can't sit still" and "I can't meditate"
then I guess you're probably right.
Page 98 of "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions" states:
"There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation and prayer. Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and benefit. But when they are logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakable foundation for life."
This quote came back to me as I sat in my meeting this morning. Now, you don't have to sign on to AA's philosophies to find the truth in this concept. But once you do, either via AA or another path, then the truth of the matter is this:
If I choose not to work these practices, then I am literally choosing not to have a solid foundation to my life.
And then if that's the case, a good deal of whatever drama, instability, hysteria, self recrimination, doubt or bullshit I am subjecting myself to I am literally choosing for myself.