ME: U are very poor at starting conversations via text.
THEM: Really angry today!!! Everyone sucks!!!
THEM: What, no wise suggestion? No snappy comeback?
ME: Just an observation.
ME: 3 things: 1. U use too many exclamation points. 2. U are not just angry, u are sarcastic. 3. U have a chip on your shoulder that is effecting your hearing.
ME: Let me guess. Something is not going the way u want.
THEM: Good guess.
ME: I lied.
ME: U are an alcoholic - So that wasn't a guess. It's a given.
THEM: Seriously, what should I do?
ME: U have 2 choices if u are alcoholic and u stop drinking.
THEM: What r they?
ME: Get better or get bitter.
THEM: There's the snappy comeback! Knew u would have one!
ME: No less true for it, though.
THEM: Srsly, what should I do?
ME: U don't need me to answer that question. Your problm isn't that u don't know what to do. Your problm is that u know what to do and u don't want to do it.
ME: Isn't about me showing/telling u what to do -- u know. It's about willingness. And I can't help u with that. U have to find that on your own. Sorry.
a few minutes go by
THEM: How come what I think you're going to say is never what u wind up saying?
ME: Beats me. But I know one thing.
ME: When u start getting that right I won't have to hit these little keys so much anymore. So hurry up.