When I was drinking, and then when I was newly sober, I would hear about people doing kind things, being of service, etc., and I would think things like "Why would anyone want to do that?"
I certainly liked the idea of being well thought of, and I was always happy to position myself to look like a nice person, but internally I had no connection between the kind act and the transformation of the spirit.
But after the fog lifted, and I thawed (so, so slowly!) I took AA's advice to heart, that it didn't matter how I felt, or if the action made sense to me, that I would just do it anyway.
And it was then that I got it.
There is something... right... about being of service. On a very fundamental, nearly physical level, I got it.
I understand why people are puzzled or too afraid or shut down to be actively kind and helpful on a daily basis -- and certainly "no one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints." -- but when you do the work, the result will amaze.
In my experience, Rabbi Kushner is correct. Something inside responds.