This morning I had statistics for breakfast.
This morning I woke up fifty five years old. (I get to turn fifty-five years old today.)
This morning I woke up 10,553 days sober.
I woke up with a healthy liver.
I woke up with a sense of well being.
I woke up in my own bed.
I woke up employed (and employable).
I woke with the thought of family, friends, co-workers... the people in my life whom I love and respect and who love and respect me.
This morning I woke up.
If you look at the statistics for a man like me
I should be ill or homeless.
I should be tortured by regret and dread.
I shouldn't even get to be 55.
I should be dead.
this morning I had statistics for breakfast.
I woke up, and from that simple act alone I broke a few.
I took stock; saw who and how I am, and it was like taking a bunch of statistics, breaking them into tiny pieces, placing them in a bowl, pouring almond milk all over them and eating them for breakfast.
Close to twenty-nine years ago, I was incapable of saying no to a drink - I was unable not to want a drink, even when I didn't want a drink (not that I ever wanted a drink). The part of me that wanted to live was helpless and overpowered by the part of me that wanted... well, that wanted what it wanted. All the time.
The part of me that wanted to live was tied up and gagged and stuffed into a trunk in the attic. Helpless.
Till I got help.
(I'm without power over my alcoholism. I'm not without help.)
And it's free help available to anyone who wants it. Anyone who is willing to have it.
We celebrate sober anniversaries in AA -- for good reason. But today I celebrate my natal birthday as not just the passing of another year on planet Earth, but as a testament to Alcoholics Anonymous as a road map for living sober.
As a road map for living.
I don't know if AA is for you, or for any person in particular, who is troubled by alcohol or drug abuse.
At the end of the day, that's really not my business.
What I know is that it's right for me.
That me + AA = a much better me.
This morning I woke up
and today I will celebrate with people I love the passing of another year on planet Earth.
Grateful to be here.
Grateful to be grateful.
Annnnnnd... we're back.