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June 05, 2014

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growingupmaybe

This morning before I came here to read, the expression 'that I may be the only (copy of the) Big Book that someone ever sees..' came to my mind with particular saliency. Here's how (it's a paraphrased "shooter" of my own): a fellow traveler at a morning meeting recalling their father telling them years and years ago that people are absolutely miserable if and when they ever stop drinking, therefore he advised them to not cease drinking at any point in life, to be sure to continue putting the alcohol in nmw in order to avoid such a hideous state of being. Today that person journeys in sobriety and grapples with applying the Steps in their lives and their affairs as they gain a changing perspective toward all life. The Dad stuck to that stay well-oiled edict himself, being described as the "exact opposite of the st. Francis prayer" as he looks out over the water and wood each day. Some form of, "so be a good one" came to mind, and I commit right here to showing more of my joy, and not protecting myself quite so much when I interact with sufferers who appear to me to be active drunks doing their damage (that've been put in..front of me.) I keep writing then deleting sentences now, trying tos say what I see and say it more brutally so I can hear myself. .need to rest, hell, to sleep. But damn. Here is an opportunity. Prayer time for bonzo.

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