SKATEPUP: But it's a big Event. Like, huge! And it's open bar and I have to be there because... work.
Mr. SponsorPants: Wait, what? When did this come up?
Mr. SP: You found out about this yesterday.
Mr. SP: Well, when is the event?
SKATEPUP: October! And like, everyone will be there. What if someone offers me a drink? What if there's a toast? What if I pick up someone else's...
Mr. SP: Shhh.
SKATEPUP: Did you... "shhhh?"
Mr. SP: Yes. Shhhh. That's what I say to myself when I am starting to trip like you are.
SKATEPUP: You "Shhh" yourself?
Mr. SP: Yes. In a nice way. In a gentle way. Like a mother with a little baby. Shhh shhh shhh.
Mr. SP: Yes, I have to slow down and be quiet before I can ask myself the two important questions about all the big drinking events coming up in October.
SKATEPUP: You have some too?
Mr. SP: I might. But it doesn't matter if I do or not, because I still know the questions I need to answer about them. The first one is, "Where are we?"
SKATEPUP: Where are we? Are you kidding?
Mr. SP: Nope. And you know what the answer is?
SKATEPUP: I know where we are. Of course I know what the answer is! How is this...?
Mr. SP: Shhhh. The answer is "Here."
Mr. SP: So, let me ask you. Where are we?
Mr. SP: Right. And here's the second question: What time is it.
SKATEPUP: I bet this isn't a look at my watch answer, is it.
Mr. SP: Right. The answer is...
Mr. SP: Right. So, where are we?
SKATEPUP (sighs): Here.
Mr. SP: And what time is it?
SKATEPUP: Now. But...
Mr. SP: Shhh! Is it October yet?
SKATEPUP (resigned): No. It is not October yet.
Mr. SP: So then, when is it? What time is it?
SKATEPUP: Okay. Okay. I get it.
Mr. SP: What time is it?
SKATEPUP: Now! Now!
Mr. SP: Good. Right. You've got it. So now, every time you start to future trip about this Event in October... when in October is it?
SKATEPUP: I'm not sure, near the end, but not at Halloween.
Mr. SP: Okay, so we'll figure out about near-the-end of October a little after the middle of October, okay?
Mr. SP: So in the meantime, every time you start to future trip...
SKATEPUP: I get it. I get it. Two Questions. Where? Here. When? Now.
Mr. SP: I promise if you do that a lot you'll actually find it brings a lot of peace.
SKATEPUP (looks doubtful): Okay.
Mr. SP: Hey. What do you need for spiritual growth?
SKATEPUP (sighs): An open mind.
Mr. SP: Okay then.
SKATEPUP (shrugs): Well...Okay then.
There are more stories like this one in "Mr. SponsorPants: Adventures in Sobriety and The 12 Steps for AA's and Others." Available as an eBook on Kindle via Amazon. Download the Kindle reader app for free on any device or platform, from PC to Smartphone, and enjoy eBooks anywhere you have time to read.