25

 

 

 

 

 

Regular readers will know I am pretty committed to the anonymity piece when it comes to AA -- for all the reasons I've discussed here over time.

So when I started writing Mr. SponsorPants the name was not just an attempt to be maybe a little cute, and show I wasn't going to take myself too seriously, it was also a deliberate construct so that I could address AA very specifically but still retain my personal anonymity.  And, as other people and events have entered my writing, I have purposely blurred specific details -- dates, places, even genders -- at the cost of some really clumsy sentence construction I fear -- so that there would be no way someone reading might be able to go, "Hmmm... I bet he's talking about so-and-so."

People in my life who know me and know I write this blog -- both in AA and not -- have sometimes observed that I'm a little over-the-top with some of that.  And I have considered that while they're likely not far off (though you're always on pretty safe ground when you suggest I'm over the top on anything -- hardly need to be a psychic to make THAT call) I was comfortable doing what was right for me.

This morning, though -- all morning, in fact -- I've felt a little >ping< in the back of my mind that I was being disingenuous not sharing something on the blog today.  It felt less than honest with my regular readers to not mark this occasion.

So while it bends, in only a tiny way I hope, my commitment to anonymity online by being quite so specific, I would like to share with gratitude, amazement and near disbelief that today  -- this day -- marks 25 years of being clean and sober and honest about it. 

March 1, 1988 is my sobriety date.  (A friend last night at dinner wished me the cheery sentiment, "Many happy returns of the day!"  While I knew what they meant I had to laugh and observe, "God, I hope not.  I think I want to turn 25 years sober just once -- I know I can keep moving forward but I'm not sure I've got it in me to do it all over again.")

So I mark this day -- and share it's acknowledgement with whomever is reading -- with a feeling of profound gratitude, and maybe the right-sized amount of humility too.  Because I assure you, there is no way I got here without the love and support and wisdom and charity and experience of so many people I know -- and let's face it, many people I've never met.  That is the overwhelming beauty which, after a while in AA you begin to perceive.  This whole vast, life-saving (life transforming) enterprise is built completely upon the foundation of one alcoholic helping another.  That's all.  That's all it took at the beginning -- from Ebby to Bill, and then from Bill to Bob -- and that's all it takes today -- among each of us in any given moment on any given day -- to create a tidal wave of healing and miracles.

To be working my own program in AA, and thus to be a part of helping someone else to work theirs, makes me -- makes all of us -- not just links in a chain; maybe the better image is loops in a net.  A huge net which caught me in freefall 25 years ago, and continues to save me today.

Dear AA, all of you -- all of us -- thank you for my life.  I make a shoddy job of it sometimes, and I am certainly prone to being more than a little sensitive when things don't go my way, but truly, deep down, there is not one single day where I don't know what a gift I've been given, and am grateful for it.  Under the occasional tantrums and bouts of self pity there is always now a bright and beating connection to a Power Greater than Myself; and through that, all of you.

Today I am 25 years clean and sober.  I know I owe it to the Grace of God and to every single loop in the net -- to every single one of you.

Thank you. 

Comments

[Syd]

Many good wishes on your 25th anniversary of a new way of life.

[Daisyanon]

Many cngratulations Mr SP

[Dorothy]

WooHoo on 25 years!!! I like the reminder that this program, this way of living, this surviving and thriving is all based in one alcoholic helping another. Thank you for helping me.

[jim]

Congratulations.

[Grace Hall]

Congrats, Mr. Sponsor Pants! So glad I found your blog. :D

[Karin Smith]

Thank you for sharing your Sobriety with me and us all. You've helped me more than you can ever know. I've delighted in your wit and humor and taken to heart your 25 year Program Wisdom. While your opinions at times are your own, the message is always true.

Congratulations!!!!

[NewMadge]

That is fantastic. And it shows :-).

Congratulations!

[Mrs D]

Congratulations Mr Sponsorpants! Your blog is a shining light to many of us online. Yours was one of the first I ever read and commented on. I commented that I was very early days and the next post you wrote said something about 'if you're new at sobriety keep going keep going it will get easier' and I cried when I read it, I felt like you were talking to me! Even though you probably weren't... anyway....congratulations again and thanks xxx

[Orbus]

Let me add my congratulations on 25 years. You must make your family very proud.

[Robin Harper]

What a wondrous feat! Hats off to you, dear Mr. SP and so glad that you are writing and inspiring once again : )

Robin

[FloridaLizzie]

Mr. SponsorPants, we congratulate you! You are a joy to read. After my one year in Al-Anon, I would not want to go back and be who I was, even though my drug addicted husband recently left me and the divorce process is really, really tough. I loved your perspective on your 25 year anniversary. I am thanking God for the big strong net of recovery.

[CarolF]

Happy birthday, Mr. SP. You are a sober jewel. I thank you for your continuing contributions to my sobriety.

[Julie]

Oh Mr SP! Congrats to you! And the biggest heartfelt thankyou to God for placing you in my path. Our sobriety dates are separated by exactly 20yrs plus one day :)

[David]

Congratulations. I am hearing in AA now the slogan that "time doesn't matter." Usually said by someone who's sponsor told him to say it. It is a misuse of one day at a time and of the fact that some AA'ers with "long term sobriety" don't act very sober or serene all the time (or at all). But some do act sober and somewhat serene some of the time, although they are not perfect. Which is part of being human. I believe that if one works the steps, goes to meetings, shares honestly and accessing the vulnerable truths about oneself, develops a relationship with a Higher Power, and sometimes goes to therapy, that over time one goes through stages in recovery, so time does matter in those cases. Accessing the deeper (onion layer) stuff can take time, and for me, that means both finding out a deeper sense of the exact nature of my wrongs, and accepting myself and the world, and becoming spontaneous (intiutively knowing when to take an action), etc. etc. Blah Blah, now as someone with 27 years I have gone on too long. God save me from myself!

[Pat]

Congratulations!
I am so glad I found this blog. You have helped me a lot.

[kelly]

Congratulations and thanks for everything.

[Carol]

It's a miracle!

[Eliza]

"God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom... In the Doctrine and Covenants we read about how important it is to '...succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.' (D&C 81:5.) So often, our acts of service consist of simple encouragement or of giving mundane help with mundane tasks, but what glorious consequences can flow from mundane acts and from small but deliberate deeds!" ("Small Acts of Service," Ensign, Dec 1974, 2). Spencer W. Kimball Thank you, MrSponsorPants, for the service of sharing your journey, and for sharing your witness that the 12-steps really work.

[Luna]

Much love to you my Brother! You are an inspiration and a gold mine of wisdom. I am so happy you decided to share you Happy Birthday with us. Rock On!

Sister Luna

[Beth]

Congratulations. You inspire me.

[Deborah]

Wow... thank you for sharing.

I stumbled upon your blog...somehow...and I read it regularly. And in the name of authenticity, I will share that I sit across the hall.

I am glad I found your blog, and I am smiling for the 25 years of willingness to show up...one day at a time. Your experience blesses us all.

[Debbie]

God saved you for a reason, from an alcoholic to a miracle-worker! THANK YOU for blogging your experience, strength and hope which has the power to change my perspective - the miracle in a nutshell.

Brightest blessings always!!!

[Christina]

God bless...25. A good number.

You're a miracle.

[Maria]

Congratulations and thanks to you. I was listening today to an interview of Fr. Greg Boyle. The idea of the pain being a gift is amazing. People like you and Fr. Boyle are truly doing our Father's work here. God bless you

[Tricia C.]

Thank you for being here. Congrats.

[Mark in Rochester]

BIG ALOHA on 25 years Mr SP!

[Tanja]

Congrats Mr. Sponsorpants! They keep telling me don't leave before the miracles happen. AA is the best thing that ever happened to a drunk like me and your blog is an inspiration to me! Thank you so much!

[Debbie G.]

Congratulations! Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us - one drunk helping another is a very powerful thing. I have been reading for 4+ years - stumbled upon your blog during a very dark place in my sobriety - and it is not a stretch of the truth to say you are one of the reasons I am still sober today. Grace is an amazing thing. Virtual hugs all around!

[Ken M]

Congrats my brother. You are such a blessinh

[christina]

congratulations. very happy with/for you :-)