When I was new in AA I tried not to be judgmental and, in my well-intentioned but confused state, wound up trying to believe that everything I heard or saw was "ok."
Perhaps in the most extreme metaphysical sense that is true, but one can hardly go through life without using their critical faculties.
Put another way, it is not judgmental to identify sickness as sickness, or to see spiritual, emotional or physical violence for the brutality that it is.
Trying not to be judgmental is a good and healthy thing to attempt -- but for me the key is to be clear as to what "judgmental" means in the context of my personal recovery or spirituality in general.
Here's where I am with this today:
One simple filter I use is that it is my opinion when I decide that what you are doing is not right for me -- and in this context "opinion" is merely using my critical faculties to make a determination about how I need to be. Judgement, however, is when I decide that what you are doing is not right for you.
Also (always reserving the right to be wrong in my assessment), identifying sickness is not being judgmental. It is using the intellect and right-sized instincts God gave us. Denigrating how someone deals with their illness however... that drifts back towards judgment.
This is more than just a question of dictionary definitions -- I must continue to develop a dynamic understanding of this idea so that I can be of maximum service to people in general and AA's in particular.
And also so that I don't drive myself crazy reaching for a perfect but inaccurate ideal.