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May 17, 2012


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dAAve u

I'm addicted to AA meetings. I go every day. It's also my social life. LOL


I went to 2 a day when I joined because I was close to death. It kept me busy and out of my head. If a person can spend 3 hours drinking a day, for example, then suggesting a 1 hour meeting/day is not unreasonable. There is also plenty of wiggle room in that 90-90 business.

It all comes down to willingness... Are they really ready? I love my meetings! Friends, fun, sobriety...awesome!


I did not make 90-in-90 when I first got sober, but I did make about 5 meetings a week for the first 2 or 3 months. I think one of the main reasons 90-in-90 has become such a popular suggestion, is to help the newcomer form a new habit. In that light, I think it's a very good suggestion (though, not following it to perfection, does not necessarily mean a person will relapse.)

It takes time for meetings to have an effect on most of us, and many of us felt like we were drowning when we first got sober, and that meetings were the only life-raft we had. I think you're right, Mr. SP, when you say those people will likely find any excuse to walk out of a meeting, because they're just not truly ready.

P.S. I'm happy to see you blogging with regularity again!


I did more than 90 in 90 when I first came in-- and still couldn't stay sober.(Like you said, Mr. SP, there's more to it...) BUT I did hear the things that later "came together" and brought me to the point that I was able to make 24 hours, and then another, and another...Without those meetings, I probably would have drank much, much longer, had a worse life (and the life of my children certainly would have been worse) and very possibly been dead before I sobered up. I don't know if it was the meetings, or which of the suggestions helped me make it, but I am grateful for all of them. I love meetings, now; they help me remember to work my program, and what that program is, and how to do that. I think the advice to look to the person who is advising is good; there are many bad examples (and I've gotten some great wisdom of what I don't want to do from them!). Yet, sometimes those very folks come up with something that resonates....


I didn't do 90 in 90 although I did as many as I could.

I've heard it explained that for someone whose life revolved around drinking then the discipline of getting to meetings, being in meetings, getting home from meetings helps use up and structure some of the time that would previously have been spent preparing to drink, drinking and recovering enough to prepare for the next drink....

I've heard a lot of people say it was a big help to them.


People will come in and out until they "let go of their old ideas". I go to about 10 meetings a week and have been doing so for 16 years. I let go of my old ideas.


I haven't visited this site in some time now. Since I'm almost two years sober I find that I don't do anything with quite the same regularity that I did when first returning.
I came back to AA after a 10 year relapse - my defiant period - and arrived in a condition that for a period of time precluded drinking and using because I was just so sick. I was broke too which didn't hurt. But more than anything I was broken. I didn't go to meetings looking for anything besides a place to go. Since I'd been before I knew there'd be a level of acceptance that was unlikely anywhere else and I puzzled to determine where anywhere else was.
I didn't speak to many people and I didn't get much out of the meetings. Each one was more a change of scenery than anything else. How many did I go to in how many days? Might as well ask me how many times I visited the bathroom last Thursday. I didn't count meetings. I didn't count days, I didn't count. I just went.
Eventually I began to heal and realized that meetings were somehow intrinsic to that healing. How, I didn't know, but I wasn't about to change anything that appeared to be working. I've never fought with the desire to drink or use since returning. I haven't fought with AA since returning either though I allowed myself to openly question things that didn't make sense to me or didn't seem particularly helpful as long as I wasn't being provocative. So far so good.
I'm not a thumper. I don't give much advice because I honestly don't know what exactly is working. However i am a member of a group. I'm the librarian now. I will chair meetings when asked. I've spoken a few times. And I do look to make newcomers feel welcome. But beyond that I believe the magic for me is in the community. For the first time in my life I'm not looking to graduate. I find AA is a community to which I belong in every sense of that word. Still I don't take every piece of advice i hear - some of it still smacks of hair shirt penance - and I don't really care what others do. Not my business. I generally don't like AA aphorisms though in some instances some can effectively capture a difficult idea. But difficult ideas still deserve some thought and effort if I'm really to make sense of them.
So 90 in 90 is two things I don't like. It's a prescription which I'm loath to write. And it is smugly trite. One of those things meant to seem self evident and beyond question when, for the person who is usually on the receiving end of that one, nothing is self evident nor beyond question.
I don't believe there is a map that will lead anybody out of the woods of active addiction and alcoholism. We trip fall and fumble and, if we're lucky we find ourselves one day in a clearing. If we're lucky again there's a guide there who can then provide us a map designed to keep us from getting lost again. Doesn't seem like much at the time but if hung onto and referred to with some regularity it seems to do what it was designed for.


Without abstinence from sex, recovery is impossible???? Where is that written, stated, or expressed? That is not an idea that I have ever read anywhere. I just want to understand why such a large generalization is being made. I haven't had a drink for over five years and I did not obstain from sex.


I did not do a 90 and 90 when I first came in 14 months ago. I have been sober consecutively this whole time, but just now am I starting a 90 and 90. I just got a car and feel that it is such a blessing that I wouldn't have without this program; with winter depression starting to set in and a rough patch in life, I decided to embark on the 90 and 90 journey. (90 meetings and 90 days seems like a lot. But am I willing?) No one told me to do it, but I know it's already helping so much and I have the chance to meet new people and attend meetings I wouldn't normally go to! It's been a huge blessing to me.


i would like to do 90 meetings in 90 day how do i do it


Many meetings, many chances...
Few meetings, few chances...
No meetings, no chances...


90/90 doesn't work for every individual. i have gone to as many meetings as i need. if some day i fall off the wagon i might consider but for now 3-5 meetings per week are working for me. having extensively researched all programs AA has the worst success rate placed under 15% but i choose it any way. for me it's the connection with people that understand me and my challenges. and all the phone n umbers i have im never alone.


follow up to the success rate. that number is hard to determine because of anonymity and AA doesn't care to do studies. understand but it would be interesting to get an accurate number. i think it's lower and in my short time I've seen many people leave the program. i pray for them and hope they come back.


I was told don't listen to anyone who says something that's not in the book. I listened to that sober for 20 + years persons advice and still do and am sober. Do any of these people who make these suggestions have a family or other then a 9-5 job? I attend Mass daily. Is this not a spiritual program as well. I've been told going to church doesn't matter, where exactly in the big book is that? rtrimb@yahoo.com

Carl B.

90 meeting in 90 days conflicts with one day at a time.Recovery is an inside job, and I may have have gone to 90 meetings in 90 days without realizing it. There was one meeting a week in this town when I started in 1974. 90 & 90 might be okay for someone who has no other support system as a suggestion, but to preach it like it's part of the AA program is misleading, might even be overwhelming to a newcomer and could cause some not to come back.

Joyce D

My new sponsor explained this to me recently-90 in 90 came from the treatment centers. I have been sober for almost 4 years and didn't go to treatment so I didn't understand it, either. I think it's ok to have general guidelines, but to make people think they will relapse if they don't follow them is troublesome, to say the least.

Carl B.

Thanks Joyce. In my experience NA applies more pressure than AA, makes rules about this and that. We used to have a slogan in AA, "There are no musts." Another is "Take what you want and leave the rest." I don't hear those very much anymore. If prodding people with rules worked I'd be all for it. But sponsor resignations when a spnonsee doesn't obey their "rules" in my opinion isn't helpful. I started out in AA, and went to NA for 8 years and back to AA now. I'm 74 so I blend in better there, seems like. Have a great Springtime.

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