At work: Several Weeks Ago...

 

Several Weeks Ago...

 

There was a problem with the fax machine, and although in this age of iGadgets and Tablet technology a fax sounds charmingly old school, the fact was that we use it quite a bit, so a problem with the fax was a problem I needed to fix.

I muttered and tinkered and cursed, and finally figured that it was potentially a problem on the phone line, which led me to call the phone company and begin climbing up the long tree of automated prompts to get to speak to a live person.

"If you are an existing ATT customer, Press 1. If you are a new customer, Press 2.  Para espanol, selecte nueve."

I pressed 1, and climbed from the first branch of the prompt tree to the next, thinking to myself that I should have gotten a fresh cup of coffee before starting this ascent.

"If this call is regarding Home Service Press 1.  For Business Accounts, Press 2."

And so on.

What seemed like twenty but was more likely no more than ten minutes later I was closing in on a live tech. (I'd already tried jabbing the zero button and the pound button repeatedly to get kicked to a live person, but the Prompt Tree was not so easily thwarted.)

"For technical support, please stay on the line, a technician will be with you shortly."

Finally! 

And then the door of the office burst open.

"Look!" she said, half in triumph, half in defiance.  She thrust her hands out in front of me.

"Please stay on the line, your call is important to us.  A technician will be with you shortly."

"Oh. Um. Wow?"  I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be looking at.

"This is what two days without a drink looks like."  Belatedly I noticed that her hands were shaking.

"Wait, what?" I was dumfounded.  She knew I was in AA (most of work now knew I didn't drink, but that was the extent of it) because she had overheard some of my friends talking to me -- discreetly -- but since she'd taken a pass at recovery herself several years ago she knew enough of the language to put two and two together and come up with sober.

"Yes.  I... I haven't had a drink in two days."

"And you've got the shakes?!?  My God, how much have you..."

"Please stay on the line, your call is important to us, a technician will be with you shortly."

We'd talked about different issues once she'd found out I was in recovery.  It's not the first time at a job I've found myself walking the delicate line between co-worker (supervisor) and 12 Stepper, so this wasn't entirely uncharted territory.

(At almost every job I've ever had, from the beginning of my sobriety, there's always one alcoholic or addict or something placed on my path -- once I worked for someone who was a bulimarexic, which means that she starved herself, and the one cracker or whatever she would allow herself in a given week she would then try and throw up.  She was a good boss though.  Except for her propensity to faint.  And leave clumps of hair in the break room.)

All of which is to say that I have had practice in balancing my spiritual journey with my career path  --  I swear, I don't go looking for it.  I'd rather be a quiet example of sobriety when I'm on the clock than get all involved in 12th Stepping.  But when the Universe gives me a Cue... what's a sober guy to do?  As Alcoholics Anonymous' Responsibility Declaration states:  "I am responsible.  When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help I want the hand of AA always to be there.  And for that, I am responsible."

So she started telling me her story -- or, the most recent chapter of it.  Which began with the fact that she's got a long drive home from work, and had apparently been buying a bottle of wine to drink on the way.  (Atta girl!)  And then once home... so these shakes were the real deal.

"If you've got the shakes then you should really look into maybe a medically supervised..."

"Please stay on the line, your call is important to us.  A technician will be with you shortly."

Damn I should hang up. This is important.  But I'd been caught completely off guard, and had some resentments about work on simmer in my psychic kitchen and to be honest I was... it was a curve ball I didn't want... I just didn't want to have one more damn thing to manage, especially...

"Please stay on the line, your call is important to us.  A technician will be with you shortly."

"I was hoping" she looked down "maybe you could suggest some meetings or..."

I sighed inside. 

"Please stay on the line..." I heard a human voice interrupt the recording. "Hello, thank you for calling ATT Technical Support, my name is Daniel, how can I assist you?"

I could climb the tree again.  Have a cup of coffee while I was at it, too.

"Thank you, Daniel, but I'll have to call back."  I put the phone gently in its cradle.  "Of course I can.  Do you have a Meeting Directory?" 

I know it's all a little pat.  I don't blame you for thinking I might be making some of this up.  'fraid not. 

I reached into my bag -- and it was too cute that I'd bought a new Directory at the last meeting I'd been to.  So funny, that Higher Power.  Such a Card.  "Here's where all the little abreviations are explained, like a Closed Meeting or Open, or a Women's Meeting or whatever..."  I gave her the Directory after we highlighted a few meetings and dog eared a page or two.

I can handle one more thing at work.  I have a lot on my plate, but I also have a Primary Purpose (look it up.)  It's not my solitary purpose, but it is my Primary one.

And because...

Because if I pray to be of service, if I pray for God to use me as God will, then it's a little counter productive to not actually be of service when called upon to do so.

Because when I was newly sober, with my own hands shaking from detox, everyone I met in AA made me feel like helping me was the most important thing in the world to them -- and that it was no trouble at all.

Because I know a little about this person -- we're of an age, and have had some issues on the job -- and I know a little about alcoholism, and I know what it costs to ask the only person you know in AA for help in connecting with AA.  And at that moment I was likely the only person they knew who was in AA. 

Because when anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of AA to be there.

And for that, I am responsible.

 

.

Comments

[Daisyanon]

Well, that nearly made me cry. And no, I am not being sarcastic.

I'm glad you are climbing out of whatever pit you have been in Mr SP. If you have been in a pit that is.

[Orbus]

...and that's what makes you MrSP. Thanks for the reminder that the Universe is always giving me cues to lead a better life.

[TAAF]

This brough tears to my eyes, Mr SP. thanks.

[michele]

man, the world is a better place because you're in it. Because all good AA people who take their 12th step seriously are in it. Thank you, you're an example to me.