so much anger

 

 

A number of emails -- angry emails -- about this post from just a couple of days past.

Some were scolding, some shaming (one particularly mocking), but all focused on the idea that saying one is an alcoholic is some sort of dodge -- a way to avoid responsibility for, well... everything.

No.

When I say I am an alcoholic -- and when I talk about not regretting the past -- what I mean is that I am not blaming myself for who and how I am; I am not reviewing my life in such a way as to compare myself to someone else (or to some mythical, idealized fantasy version of my past self) who is not an alcoholic.  I am not grieving (which can actually be, in this case, a form of self obsession, but let's not open that particular can of worms right now) all of the would-have's and should-have's.

But it is not any sort of free pass from taking responsibility for what I did while under the influence of alcohol -- or under the influence of my alcoholism.

 

Comments

[Robert G]

Sorry to hear you got some angry emails. That seems unwarranted. Your post was grounded in the big book and your experience of working the steps.
As always, i was able to find a lesson and inspiration in it during my morning meditations.

Thanks!

Robert g

[Marjorie Douty]

yep. we don't regret the past or wish to shut the door on it but we also make amends for the wrongs we've committed which allows us to live with our past and take responsiblity for not only our past but our present.

[Kelly]

I thought the Jan 11 post nailed it. For so long I wanted to change but I couldn't... I just didn't know how. It doesn't excuse wrong behavior. I take responsibility for my actions in the past and present. But staying drunk all the take and healthy choices are simply unmixy things. I had no clue about how to live and I couldn't do better until I knew better. Thank God I do today.

[Sober Julie]

I'm shocked that you received negative feedback. I took alot from it.

I struggled with in the early days and your post summed up what I learned.

Everyone has differing opinions and I suppose we're in different stages of this journey.

Sounds like some need to mock others to feel comfortable in their own skin.

[A "Would Not" who Did]

Interesting. I had no idea that this post would strike a nerve with anyone. When I read it, I thought, Very cool. That's exactly how I feel. So I don't think an explanation was needed.

What I see, though, is that some of us are still very "thin-skinned" (or "touchy," as our literature says).

Perhaps those who are that angry about your post should re-read what our books have to say on that subject.

Perhaps they can check "what's wrong with me?"

Perhaps they can meditate on our slogan, Live and Let Live.

Perhaps they can re-read the part in the Big Book that says, "Real tolerance of other people's shortcomings and VIEWPOINTS and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others. Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend on our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs." Alcoholics Anonymous p.19-20.

You've helped meet my needs, Mr. Sponsorpants. Thank you.