reasons

 

 

 

 

 

Cracked me up.

But I was reminded recently of when I was newly sober, and people would come back from a relapse and list -- either in conversation or when they shared -- "why" they drank.  My dead sponsor (he's who's wise counsel I miss every single day) would lean over to me and whisper, "Bullshit.  They drank because they're an alcoholic."  Needless to say I would be scandalized and hope that no one heard his rude remark.  He was wise, but towards the end he was extra salty.

I was then (and am now) of two minds on that subject.  On the one hand, I think it can be useful to perform an "autopsy" on a relapse.  (Apt choice or words; if you don't perform one on the relapse someone may perform one on you, eh?).  If, when people come back, rehab counselors and well-meaning AA's will ask "what are you going to do differently this time?" then it's fair to say that one should identify what they did/didn't do which let alcoholism roll that "curious mental fog" back in -- which fuzzes our thinking to a degree that makes picking up a drink acceptable (regardless of all the horrible things which happened before).

On the other hand, I think my dead sponsor was dead on.  At the end of the day, we drink because we're alcoholics.  We come up with a smoke screen of reasons either trivial or artificial, fueled by resentment or insanity (often both), but we pick up a drink because we have a disease which seduces and compels us to do so.

A disease from which I have only a daily reprieve -- and that only if I take regular doses of my AA "medicine."  (That's my truth.  If you have a different truth, that's great.  Just because you're not on my path doesn't mean you're lost -- but if you're really an alcoholic, be careful.  Sometimes our thinking is not to be trusted, and going it alone is like telling your doctor "Cancer? Ok. Thanks, but I can take care of it myself."  Serious illness needs serious assistance in treating it).

 

Comments

[Warren L]

...in regards to your last statement about cancer...I gotta say this: at the risk of letting my own sickness and resentmentz TOO CLEARLY through, - =/ the caveat nearly lays the groundwork though lol...I get a kick out of SOME of the anglo-saxon-judeo-xstian-religious fanatics' stance regarding alcoholism. Their way is the only way. They have all a drinker / addict needs to straighten up. heh... OWK there MR. CHURCHYPANTS .. hows about YOU stop taking your blood thinners, or insulin regulators, how abouttake those glasses off before reciting from YOUR book, or better yet. stop lounging around in that wheelchair that stroke landed you in. WE HAVE A DISEASE. WE ARE TREATING IT. WE MAY NOT KNOW THE ONLY WAY TO MANAGE IT, BUT WE KNOW ONE THAT WORKS FOR ALOT PEOPLE. ...just sayin... :) ... if I offended ANYONE. then I truly apologize. you take my medicine away from me, I start manifesting my symptoms in a morose manner. the really neat part of this program is that I've got a fighting chance to keep my disease (of which I am grateful for) manageable. -yours truly, MR.RANTYPANTS

[Molly]

Thank you, Mr. S, for this. I frequently have a little irky moment when good folks discuss "triggers", as in, "what triggered you to drink this time?" As if the world were responsible (and if it would only behave, we could stay sober!). Well, to be open about it, maybe that works for some folks, but unless I have that spiritual reprieve (and it's the only thing that has worked for me) reality is my trigger and it will get me every time. (Proven over many years). Thanks again!

[Michelle]

I drank when I was happy, I drank when I was sad, I drank when it was sunny, when it rained, when it was day, when it was night.....seriously! because we are alcoholic. We don't need a reason or excuse....but I sure would use those things to "justify" my behavior! :)
I had a newcomer tell me she only drank because her ex husband roped her into it. Now she can't stop. But it's not because she's alcoholic, it's because she was tricked by her ex husband. She's been in and out for 3 weeks. I just keep trying to get her to meet me at meetings. :)