And so we come to the 1000th post here at Mr. SponsorPants.
Some quite short -- no more than a brief thought with maybe an image -- others perhaps overlong for the blog format -- but with only a handful of missed days Mr. SponsorPants has been a surprising constant -- and comfort -- for me over the last few years.
Frankly, I've struggled terribly in my life with procrastination. I do not think of myself as a particularly disciplined person. (When I first encountered the line in the AA literature "We alcoholics are undisciplined... so we let God discipline us in the way we have just outlined..." I am quite sure I winced).
Has writing Mr. SP taught me discipline? I think it would be closer to the truth to say it has shown me that I am much more disciplined than I give myself credit for. There's plenty of evidence to suggest that an alcoholic's powers of self-assessment are not great, so it's no surprise that I was surprised at my sticking to it. It was important to me to do that.
I take the service aspect of it seriously -- as I do the anonymity of it, too. And, as with everything in my life directly informed by AA's commitment to service, it's been both easier and harder than I thought, and I have gotten things from it I could never have imagined -- not the least of which is a feeling of being a part of something much bigger than myself. That knowledge was always there regarding AA, but the experience of hearing from people in recovery from all over the world has been a profound and humbling thing -- a part of the blogging experience that I really didn't think about when I started.
And as with anything to do with sponsorship in general, I have gotten so much more than I've given -- which of course is the great spiritual paradox of service: Once you start sharing -- your heart, your time, your attention, your experience -- what comes back to you is always immeasurably greater than whatever you think you gave, however much that might be.
So with that I wanted to say thank you. For the emails, the comments, the little blips on the TypePad Overview thingy that tells me someone, somewhere, clicked in for a bit.
Someday I'll make the time to pull some of this blog into a more organized and coherent format and maybe make a little book out of it. You can self publish so easily now. And if that impulse is fueled equally by a desire to continue to be of service and maybe some ego -- well, that certainly wouldn't be the first time such a heady mix was the gas in my car.
Tomorrow will be, without fanfare, #1001. I'll keep plugging away. I'm too old an AA dog to say "...for another 1000 posts..." One Day at a Time refers to blogging, too I think.
Sometimes I sit down to write and I feel empty -- just nothing there -- so I wait. And eventually something comes -- even if sometimes it is just one short sentiment. I turn it over and put it down and figure that maybe someone somewhere needed to read just that thing just at that moment; so whatever it is it's the right thing to write, regardless of how inspired -- or "un" -- I may feel. Ultimately it is my privilege to share in any way -- anywhere and in any fashion -- what was so freely given to me.
There is a passage at the very end of 'Bill's Story' in The Big Book which never fails to choke me up:
"Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We have it with us right here and now. Each day my friend's simple talk in our kitchen multiplies itself in a widening circle of peace on earth and good will to men."
My heart is full of gratitude at being part of that ever widening circle with all of you...