Heard this in a meeting tonight: If it's not love, it's not God. To which I surprised myself (and startled a few people around me) by murmuring "Amen."
Compassion is a very different thing than pity. The former contains love, the latter, perhaps a bit of arrogance -- so if I'm feeling pity instead of compassion (and I grant you, it can be an exercise in navel gazing to get too entangled in sorting them out, but still, it's worth considering) then I should check myself.
Giving love, in the form of sincere kindness, is such a powerful healing force for the giver that it actually does not matter how it is received when offered.
Gratitude is a form of prayer -- sometimes for me the most enlightened one.
In some circumstances the best suggestion is one I used to hear quite often in meetings when I was newly sober: Drop the rock. (The weren't talking to me of course... just people I was standing near. I'm sure of it.)
Eleanor Roosevelt was famous for saying that "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." I thing a recovered riff on that is "Nothing can make you feel ungrateful without your participation."