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August 21, 2008


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WOW! I loved this. Thank you. 6 yrs-Smyna GA-HOW Place. Erica E.


That was exactly what I needed too read today. I dont feel so alone in my thinking and now I will let go. THANKYOU

wycliffe ombati

wow that as let me not to lose hope


Mr. Sponsorpants, you've helped me again... have a sponsee who keeps drinking and I so much want to help her. I simply don't know what to do or what else to try. It's ego that drives me to want to "save" her... I need to let her go and allow God to work in her life. No, I don't want her to die, but "no human power" can stop her from drinking, least of all me. Thanks...


this is EXACTLY what i needed to read tonight. thank you soooo much.


thank you. your words came in the nick of time. i appreciate your words which were an answer to a prayer.


I needed to read this tonight. I fear I have been failing two women I sponsor by not holding them accountable in the steps and they are in bad spiritual condition...dry like kindling.

We are far past the point of my suggestions calling them to action. One I asked to get another sponsor tonight.

Kelly Reed

I am 10 months sober and decided to change sponsors. She & I attend the same women's meeting. After I changed, I felt guilty in front of her. Did I hurt her feelings? I have heard people change sponsors, do the sponsors feel like they have let the sponsee down? How should I feel.


I just say to myself or them " go get done" and then go to alanon. I'm powerless. The book says we move on to people who really want to work the program. Nuff said

Phoebe in California (4.5 yrs abstinent in OA; 18 mo in Al-Anon)

This post is still working its magic. Exactly what I needed tonight in the aftermath of being "fired" by a sponsee. So much good stuff in here. Thank you for leaving it up.


I had to have the directions as outlined in AAs Big Book first, to have something to pass on to a Sponsee. Then I could feel confident that I was doing everything I could for them.

The directions I have cause the Sponsee to have a spiritual awakening as I did. If I'm not sure I had it then I probably didn't -- it can't be explained and it's not knowledge.

I also am still not a perfect sponsor. I have been a bit codependent in the past but didn't cause harm.

My sponsor however REALLY hurt me -- she used me to get herself a boyfriend and I won't go into how she did it -- it was very sick behavior and she never cleaned it up.

I still outgrew her quickly later on and someday she will see how futile her actions were. For now she had to love with the guilt remorse and fear of being caught...not worth the boyfriend.

So I learn from everyone.

I also have never not appreciated the help she did give me - I am just careful to share with only those who are mature and selfless enough to be trusted.

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